Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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