why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
