It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
