Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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