lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm both gender and math confused
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
