I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
