Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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