Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
