I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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