Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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