I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
high people should be assigned attendants
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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