May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
