We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
