He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
