Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
