Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
