so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
