lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
