but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
