How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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