and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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