just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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