Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
