She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
