So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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