If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
