I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
