Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
