spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
