Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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