i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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