I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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