Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
