okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
