she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
