That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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