So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
