i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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