Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
