I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
