I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
