She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I supernannyed him into submission
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
