is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We are two peas in an std pod
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
