The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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