Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
