I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
