p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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