ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
