Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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