I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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